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tonjavmooreTitle: What I Want
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tonjavmoore
Prompt: Torchwood Lucky 7: The Sin of Greed
Characters/Pairings: Owen and others
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Not sure there is anyone left to be spoiled, but maybe some for "A Day in the Death"
Word Count: 1211
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC and RTD. Sadly.
A/N: There's a lyric in "A Very Nice Prince" that Cinderella sings in Into the Woods that makes me think of greed:
But how can you know what you want
Till you get what you want
And you see if you like it?
What I Want
I’ve always been a greedy son-of-a-bitch.
I’m well aware of the psychological implications of that statement, thank you. Owen Harper did go to medical school. I became a surgeon instead of a shrink, but I remember the basics of the course. Doesn’t change the fact that I’ve always wanted… a lot.
“Do I need to get another carton?” Rhys asked.
“Nah. This is about all of it.” I reached way back into the cupboard and found the last of the kitchen gadgets. I put it in the open box and pushed it across the counter. “There. All ready for your mate’s jumble.”
“This is a lot of stuff, Owen. Are you sure…?”
“I’m sure.”
At first it was just money. I wanted more money than God. Seriously. When your one remaining parent kicks you out at sixteen because she can’t afford to keep you, you get an appreciation for being well-off. I didn’t want to be a barrister or a solicitor. I couldn’t scream well enough to become a rock star. I knew a kid whose parents were doctors and he always had money. So I hunkered down and went to med school.
I won’t lie to you – it wasn’t easy. However, with my eye firmly on the gold to flow into my coffers, as it were, I was willing to put up with anything. Soon, even though money remained my primary objective, I became greedy for something else: admiration. “Oh, Doctor, you saved my life!” or “… my son’s life” or “… my wife’s life” or whoever they happened to be was damn near as sweet as getting a paycheck. I wanted more of that, too.
And then I found the one thing that seemed to be all I wanted and more. Katie. My beautiful Katie.
“Hey, Owen, there are sealed boxes in that storage area,” Rhys said. “Looks like they haven’t been opened in years. You want to go through them first?” Good old conscientious Rhys, doing a double check. He’s a lot like Ianto really.
“That’s stuff I brought from London. Take it all. Some of it is probably still good. Especially Katie’s dresses. They were always good quality.”
“Ok, will do.”
That part of my life didn’t last long. Katie died. An alien killed her. I wanted revenge now, too. As well as money. And admiration. I told you I was greedy, didn’t I? I must have been a little crazy because when Captain Jack Harkness offered me a job that promised all three, I took it.
I was making more money than I ever thought possible, I could do everything that a brilliant surgeon could do, and I was taking my revenge on every alien I shot or cut up, telling myself that it was for Katie. But, you know, even that wasn’t enough.
My greed showed up in a new form. I crawled the pubs of Cardiff looking for women. I wanted physical release without involvement and found it in that game. I wanted more and more, and got myself into trouble more than once. I think Jack had to haul my ass out of jail at least twice. I tried to control it then, but my greed had taken on a life of its own.
It was less than a week this time before I called Rhys again. “You might want to bring a couple of boys with you this time. The bedroom needs to go.”
He sounded more or less resigned. He’d stopped asking me if I was sure a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for that, at least.
“Tuesday?”
“Yeah.”
All right, now that’s greed for money, greed for admiration, greed for revenge, and greed for physical release. What was next? Oh, yeah. After that whole Cyber-mess, in which Ianto managed to get us nearly killed, Jack changed. He stopped flirting with his fancy-boy and began – I don’t know exactly how to put it – maybe “courting” is the right word. It’s old-fashioned, the way Jack is. Maybe “wooing” is better. Up until then all that had gone on between he Captain and the Tea-Boy was heavy eye contact as far as we knew. We all figured that was at an end, but it wasn’t. And as I watched their long conversations take place in Jack’s office, I knew I wanted something else. I wanted someone to talk to.
Greed makes you impatient and, most of the time, careless. I wanted someone and I took the first person I could think of. That was Gwen.
Gwen has magnetism. Oh, not like Jack (I’m pretty sure he can pull planets out of orbit by the sheer force of his personality), but alluring in its own way. I needed someone to talk to. So did she. It was a natural progression that way.
The sex was good. Gwen has a lot of… enthusiasm. I’m sure Rhys has been enjoying those benefits all along. But Gwen was also good at listening, at least to me. At the Hub she was her usual nosy, noisy self, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she would let me talk.
Money, admiration, revenge, physical release, someone to talk to – you’d think that would satisfy anyone, wouldn’t you? Not greedy Dr. Harper. Still wasn’t sufficient. When Diane came down out of the sky, I wanted her. Not since my bright star Katie had I wanted another person so much. She seemed to want me back, too, but it wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough.
After Diane disappeared into the Rift and Jack took off for parts unknown, I think I went a little crazy again. I started buying things to fill up this emptiness that was over-taking me. I wanted everything. I bought not one but two new cars, one SUV and one sports job that was sexier than any woman I’d ever seen. I began pulling at pubs again, since Gwen had gone back to the safety of her Rhys. I was still making money, still being brilliant, still getting my revenge, and still getting the release I wanted but the greed had kicked back into high gear. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted, but I told myself if I bought enough things, saved enough people, cut up enough aliens, and shagged enough women I’d find it.
This time when Rhys came, I told him to take the big screen TV as a gift for helping me. “I can’t do that, Owen.”
“Yeah, you can. Take it. Watch rugby on it. Or football. Or whatever. Take it.”
He looked at me and I knew what he was going to say. I held up my hand. “If you ask me if I’m sure, I’ll shoot you where it would endanger your chances of founding a dynasty. Just take it. All of it.”
After he left, I wandered around the flat. It was empty except for a pile of medical journals that I’d never got around to reading. I had plenty of time to do that now.
When I look back, I realize the futility of everything I desired. All that work and it wasn’t ever really what I wanted. The petty greed for things and people has coalesced into one giant want.
I want to be alive again.
Author:
tonjavmoore Prompt: Torchwood Lucky 7: The Sin of Greed
Characters/Pairings: Owen and others
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Not sure there is anyone left to be spoiled, but maybe some for "A Day in the Death"
Word Count: 1211
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC and RTD. Sadly.
A/N: There's a lyric in "A Very Nice Prince" that Cinderella sings in Into the Woods that makes me think of greed:
But how can you know what you want
Till you get what you want
And you see if you like it?
What I Want
I’ve always been a greedy son-of-a-bitch.
I’m well aware of the psychological implications of that statement, thank you. Owen Harper did go to medical school. I became a surgeon instead of a shrink, but I remember the basics of the course. Doesn’t change the fact that I’ve always wanted… a lot.
“Do I need to get another carton?” Rhys asked.
“Nah. This is about all of it.” I reached way back into the cupboard and found the last of the kitchen gadgets. I put it in the open box and pushed it across the counter. “There. All ready for your mate’s jumble.”
“This is a lot of stuff, Owen. Are you sure…?”
“I’m sure.”
At first it was just money. I wanted more money than God. Seriously. When your one remaining parent kicks you out at sixteen because she can’t afford to keep you, you get an appreciation for being well-off. I didn’t want to be a barrister or a solicitor. I couldn’t scream well enough to become a rock star. I knew a kid whose parents were doctors and he always had money. So I hunkered down and went to med school.
I won’t lie to you – it wasn’t easy. However, with my eye firmly on the gold to flow into my coffers, as it were, I was willing to put up with anything. Soon, even though money remained my primary objective, I became greedy for something else: admiration. “Oh, Doctor, you saved my life!” or “… my son’s life” or “… my wife’s life” or whoever they happened to be was damn near as sweet as getting a paycheck. I wanted more of that, too.
And then I found the one thing that seemed to be all I wanted and more. Katie. My beautiful Katie.
“Hey, Owen, there are sealed boxes in that storage area,” Rhys said. “Looks like they haven’t been opened in years. You want to go through them first?” Good old conscientious Rhys, doing a double check. He’s a lot like Ianto really.
“That’s stuff I brought from London. Take it all. Some of it is probably still good. Especially Katie’s dresses. They were always good quality.”
“Ok, will do.”
That part of my life didn’t last long. Katie died. An alien killed her. I wanted revenge now, too. As well as money. And admiration. I told you I was greedy, didn’t I? I must have been a little crazy because when Captain Jack Harkness offered me a job that promised all three, I took it.
I was making more money than I ever thought possible, I could do everything that a brilliant surgeon could do, and I was taking my revenge on every alien I shot or cut up, telling myself that it was for Katie. But, you know, even that wasn’t enough.
My greed showed up in a new form. I crawled the pubs of Cardiff looking for women. I wanted physical release without involvement and found it in that game. I wanted more and more, and got myself into trouble more than once. I think Jack had to haul my ass out of jail at least twice. I tried to control it then, but my greed had taken on a life of its own.
It was less than a week this time before I called Rhys again. “You might want to bring a couple of boys with you this time. The bedroom needs to go.”
He sounded more or less resigned. He’d stopped asking me if I was sure a couple of weeks ago. Thanks for that, at least.
“Tuesday?”
“Yeah.”
All right, now that’s greed for money, greed for admiration, greed for revenge, and greed for physical release. What was next? Oh, yeah. After that whole Cyber-mess, in which Ianto managed to get us nearly killed, Jack changed. He stopped flirting with his fancy-boy and began – I don’t know exactly how to put it – maybe “courting” is the right word. It’s old-fashioned, the way Jack is. Maybe “wooing” is better. Up until then all that had gone on between he Captain and the Tea-Boy was heavy eye contact as far as we knew. We all figured that was at an end, but it wasn’t. And as I watched their long conversations take place in Jack’s office, I knew I wanted something else. I wanted someone to talk to.
Greed makes you impatient and, most of the time, careless. I wanted someone and I took the first person I could think of. That was Gwen.
Gwen has magnetism. Oh, not like Jack (I’m pretty sure he can pull planets out of orbit by the sheer force of his personality), but alluring in its own way. I needed someone to talk to. So did she. It was a natural progression that way.
The sex was good. Gwen has a lot of… enthusiasm. I’m sure Rhys has been enjoying those benefits all along. But Gwen was also good at listening, at least to me. At the Hub she was her usual nosy, noisy self, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she would let me talk.
Money, admiration, revenge, physical release, someone to talk to – you’d think that would satisfy anyone, wouldn’t you? Not greedy Dr. Harper. Still wasn’t sufficient. When Diane came down out of the sky, I wanted her. Not since my bright star Katie had I wanted another person so much. She seemed to want me back, too, but it wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough.
After Diane disappeared into the Rift and Jack took off for parts unknown, I think I went a little crazy again. I started buying things to fill up this emptiness that was over-taking me. I wanted everything. I bought not one but two new cars, one SUV and one sports job that was sexier than any woman I’d ever seen. I began pulling at pubs again, since Gwen had gone back to the safety of her Rhys. I was still making money, still being brilliant, still getting my revenge, and still getting the release I wanted but the greed had kicked back into high gear. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted, but I told myself if I bought enough things, saved enough people, cut up enough aliens, and shagged enough women I’d find it.
This time when Rhys came, I told him to take the big screen TV as a gift for helping me. “I can’t do that, Owen.”
“Yeah, you can. Take it. Watch rugby on it. Or football. Or whatever. Take it.”
He looked at me and I knew what he was going to say. I held up my hand. “If you ask me if I’m sure, I’ll shoot you where it would endanger your chances of founding a dynasty. Just take it. All of it.”
After he left, I wandered around the flat. It was empty except for a pile of medical journals that I’d never got around to reading. I had plenty of time to do that now.
When I look back, I realize the futility of everything I desired. All that work and it wasn’t ever really what I wanted. The petty greed for things and people has coalesced into one giant want.
I want to be alive again.